June 19, 2007

Shat's the shit.

See that man over there to the right? That man is the shit, and yet, all he gets from you is shit. That is Captain James T. Kirk, you selfish, unworthy cockstain. I hope you’re on your hands and knees right now, because he is watching you through this fucking picture.

This is the same Kirk that beat the unbeatable Kobayashi Maru mission in the Academy by telling them to stick it and cheating like a real man, way back in 2254 (has it been that long?). The same Kirk that went back in time to the 1930s Great Depression through a talking time portal called the “Guardian of Forever” to change back the timeline after an ODing Dr. McCoy jumped through, altered the past, and fucked everything up, who whined like the bitch that he was. This is the same motherfucker that volunteered to repair a section of a ship that wasn’t his after an accident he didn’t cause and getting caught in a red-ribbon time nexus allowing him to live until 2371 when Captain Picard came and pulled his ass out of the pretty dreamland to fight against some space redneck with delusions of grandeur who thought he had to blow up a star to jump into the same fairytale world these two tough bastards had already fucking done, without even trying nonetheless. What a fucking douche.

Kirk had the brawn, he had the brains, and he got all of the alien honeys you only dream of when you’re masturbating in your sister’s bedroom with Woolfie keeping you company. His sweatshirt-muscled machine guns were so chiseled that he knocked out teeth just from the wind of his short fell swings. Kirk also got every hot piece of tail from here to Rura Penthe. Hell, I’ll even bet he fucked your mom on shore leave. You might even be Shat’s seed. Ha! That’s a fucking laugh, you pansy piece of shit. You’re no ass-handing, tail-tagging, starship captain’s heir to the throne of all that is sacred and was never put in the Bible.

I think you’re just fucking jealous. You’re just a fucking Jerkins loving nerd who probably watched Deep Space Nine, ass clown. I’ll bet you knew everything I said about Captain James T. God before I even said it, didn’t you, pimpled pervert. You’re so fucking pathetic. Here, I think Jim said it best when he said, “Let them die!” Fuck yes, Jim, fuck yes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Damnit, Jim! Yet another fantastic blog. Way to give the hating ass clowns some hell.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...