June 21, 2009

The machinist, part 3.

Here's the third part in the continuing adventures of me and the machinist. You can find the first part here and the second part here. By the time I'm done with these, I might just have to write a book about the man. The legend will never measure up to the man though. It's too bad none of you get to experience the pleasure of working with this great, spiteful bastard.


You were broadcasting when you should have been tuning in.

That motherfucker just insulted me!
"What do you mean?"
He said, "Well, I'll let you get back to work and get out of your hair." Do you see any fucking hair on my head? That motherfucker...

"Yeah, they don't seem to get along too well."
Take you and me for instance. Now, I may not like you, but we both work for this company. So when we're here, I pretend to like you.
"Thanks."

He's like a bear cub wearing boxing gloves and playing with his peter.

How's the world treatin' ya?
"Fine. How about you?"
It's not the world. It's the people, kid. It's the people.

Your mouth was in gear and your brain was in idle.

Did I ever tell you about the old, ugly woman I saw at the eye doctor?
"No, I don't think so."
Well, one time when I was at the eye doctor, I saw the ugliest bitch I've ever seen. I'm talking so ugly that a blind man wouldn't marry the bitch. Well, a couple of months go by and I'm taking this tour through a farm, and then I see her walking with a group of people. So I went up to her and I asked, "Were you at the eye doctor about two months ago?"
And she said, "Yes, how did you know that?"
I said, "Well, ma'am, I trained with the CIA for over eleven years, and I always remember faces."
She said, "That's amazing. You have a wonderful memory."
The truth is...no one could forget such an ugly fucking goat face.


Part four is inevitable. To be continued, I'm sure.

Not a single shred of faith left in man.

"The federal government has spent nearly half a million dollars to fund a study to find out why some men would prefer not to wear condoms during sex. The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a branch of the National Institutes of Health, has awarded a $423,500 grant to researchers at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction."

"The Bloomington, Indiana, based research team will use the funding to study 'barriers to correct condom use,' according to a release from the institute. 'This project aims to advance our understanding of, among other factors, the role of cognitive and affective processes and condom application skills in explaining problems with condom use in young, heterosexual adult men,' reads an excerpt of the study, which will be funded through May 2011."

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Darwin was a dumbass. We're still stupid, fucking monkeys that aren't fit for survival.

June 18, 2009

English major.

Dark Eyes, cigars, and talking about everything from utopia to NASA to rap. That's what it's all about. And in other news, I'm going to get an English Major and become a "poetry-repairman."

Motherfucker.

June 10, 2009

8 little indie flicks.

No, reviews here. Just a list of eight indie films I've watched recently. Some are a few years old. Just trying to catch up on shit I haven't seen. The list has no real order, except the first one would have to be the best of all of them. Check some of these out:

1. Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)


2. The Chumscrubber (2005)


3. La science des rĂªves / The Science of Sleep (2006)


4. The Go-Getter (2007)


5. The United States of Leland (2003)


6. The Girlfriend Experience (2009)


7. S. Darko (2009)


8. Dark Corners (2006)
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