November 19, 2007

The price to play.

The first recorded practice of taxes was in Ancient Egypt around 3000 BC. I hate to be the one to say this, but “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” This old concept is really fucking simple. Stop all this bitching about paying your taxes. I’m not going to pretend that I enjoy doing it, but I’m smart enough to understand the alternative and its consequences. So you don’t appreciate paying taxes to house and feed convicted felons? That’s cool. Let’s tear down the prisons and fire the jailers, and from now on DUI, larceny, rape, and murder carry only hefty fines. You get caught molesting little boys? No sweat, just pay your ticket. Why lock up killers and perverts when we can just let them roam free with the rest of us? I mean, that’s not worth any kind of money you want to pay, right?
I know most of you ignorant fucks probably couldn’t even find the United States on a world map, so I’ve circled the important part for you on this complex bar graph of income tax from 2005. Of course, this is just income tax, and doesn’t cover others (i.e. sales). But it will serve as a good comparison. To further assist you hairy apes, notice the average percentage for corporate tax in the U.S. is 10% higher than personal tax. You may also notice that the U.S. has the highest corporate tax in the world, just above Japan. Also, you'll see that personal tax in countries like France, Germany, and Belgium is almost twice as high as the United States, and their corporate tax is roughly half of their personal tax. Do you know what all of this translates to? Well, I’m no mathematician, but I think it adds up to: “stop your bitching or someone is going to stuff you into a small box and mail you to fucking Belgium, dickhead.” Again, that’s just my educated guess. Tea parties are for little girls and their stuffed animals. So just keep paying your taxes and shut the fuck up.

November 13, 2007

A grab bag full of bullshit.

In Washington: The Bush administration has apparently changed policy and cleared the way for the Justice Department to restart an investigation into the government's no-warrant electronic surveillance program, a department official told Congress on Tuesday. Hinchey and other Democrats have been asking for a probe into the legality of the domestic spying program. It involves using the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on international phone calls and e-mails from people inside the United States with suspected ties to terrorists.

Why the hell does any of this matter? Didn’t they change the law on this back in August (‘Bush Throws Another Donkey
Punch’)?

By changing the legal definition of what is considered ‘electronic surveillance,’ the new law allows the government to eavesdrop on those conversations without warrants.


Yes, they did. But I see what this really is then. This is to make the administration look more ‘legit.’ Well, after the investigation ‘discovers’ that they never broke the law or some shit. Very creative, Orwellian even. Beneath the Bush, there’s a dirty pussy.



In San Fernando: A nearly indestructible pit bull menaced a pumpkin patch, claiming the lives of an innocent cat and rabbit, before police overpowered it with brute force, authorities said today. An officer arrived and tried to ensnare the pit bull with a leash, but it knocked her over and bolted down Celis Street. "It became evident that the Animal Control officer was unable to recover from her fall and that the officers were forced to take immediate action," the police report read. The officers elected to ram the dog, running over it three times before it gave up.

Yes, you read that correctly. The cops said that stubborn dog refused to give up twice before finally surrendering after the third passing of two tons of metal. But I bet if you asked the dog, he gave up after the first. Or he’s a fucking robot.



In New York: A young man carrying what turned out to be a hairbrush died Monday night in a hail of bullets fired by New York police. The teen put an object under his shirt and told his mother around the time she phoned 9-1-1 that he was going to say he had a gun. Twenty shots were fired; Coppin was struck eight times. Kelly said the teen's mother reported he had not taken his anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medication.

The shooting came a year after unarmed groom Sean Bell, 23, was killed hours before his wedding in a shooting involving New York police. In 1999, unarmed African immigrant Amadou
Diallo, 22, died when police in the Bronx shot him 19 times (the latter being the subject of the song “Contempt Breeds Contamination” by Trivium, in which police fired 41 shots total). Bystander Dyshawn Gibson described Monday's shooting to CNN affiliate WABC-TV. "He dropped the brush," Gibson said. "He put his hands up. Police just started firing."

Not much needs said here. Cops shot a man who never showed them his ‘weapon’ or fired one round, even if the bystander is full of it. Apparently it happens a lot with the NYPD. “This isn't justice, this is corruption.”


In Grinnell, Iowa: The college student who was told what question to ask at one of New York Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign events said "voters have the right to know what happened" and she wasn't the only one who was planted. She said a senior Clinton staffer asked if she'd like to ask the senator a question after an energy speech the Democratic presidential hopeful gave. "I said 'Yeah, can I ask how her energy plan compares to the other candidates' energy plans?'" Gallo-Chasanoff said Monday night.

According to Gallo-Chasanoff, the staffer said, 'I don't think that's a good idea, because I don't know how familiar she is with their plans.' He then opened a binder to a page that, according to Gallo-Chasanoff, had about eight questions on it. "The top one was planned specifically for a college student," she added. "It said 'college student' in brackets and then the question."


Topping that sheet of paper was the following: "As a young person, I'm worried about the long-term effects of global warming. How does your plan combat climate change?" While she acknowledged "it's possible that all campaigns do these kind of tactics," she said that doesn't make it right.


They say kids don’t care? There’s why. That’s Maple Nut Crunch you’re smelling after waking up in front of Laurence Fishburne. Don’t get mad. Do what I plan to do in the ’08 elections: absolutely nothing.


Former presidential adviser David Gergen said the front-runner's campaign could take a hit from the incident. "When a campaign plants a question, it's a pretty minor infraction of the rules -- like a parking ticket," Gergen said. "The problem here is it feeds a damaging perception of Hillary Clinton that she can't quite be trusted.”


Actually, how about this instead? If you lie to the public about your integrity and honesty, it’s not quite like getting a parking ticket. It’s like having DUI’s and becoming a driver’s ed teacher. Get bent.

November 12, 2007

These lazy bastards we call kids.

This is from PeoplePC news: Jesse Lackman says his son spends a dozen hours a week waging medieval combat across the dreary dreamscapes of computer games. Just don't expect to find Lackman sitting beside him battling ogres and dragons. “It's just such a waste of time," said Lackman, 47, a power plant operator from Center, N.D. "I tell him, 'Do something that has some lasting value.'"

I couldn’t have said it better. Well, unless I tried to. But Mr. Lackman has a point. His son could be doing so many other, more productive things, such as: watching television, reading the shitty local newspaper, avoid spending time with his family by working 60+ hours a week at a power plant, or even complain to interviewers about how pathetic kids are today. Lead by example, I guess. But Mr. Lackman’s son can’t be the only kid in America to play numerous hours of video games:

"I don't think it's good for them, the violence, the obsession," said Karen Kimball, 55, of Hale, Minn., another nonplayer who estimates her 17-year-old son plays 25 hours weekly. "No longer is it, 'Let's go out and throw a football.'"

That’s a very good point. Stop playing violent video games, and play a relaxing sport like football. Kids are just so fucked up today. They don’t respect their elders or authority, they don’t care about politics or religion, they don’t plan for their future or understand the concept of money, and they’re too lazy to leave the house. Wait a minute? Was I talking about kids or adults? Damn…

I guess it’s my turn to bitch. Know what I’m tired of? I’m tired of post-baby boomer, free love hippies who rebelled more than any fucking generation in history, who’ve never fought in any wars, who did more drugs than mankind as a whole, caused the divorce rate in this country to triple within the last thirty years, started a gluttony epidemic with obesity, and without having ever attained a college degree, proceed to lecture children on their mistakes and being apathetic and spoiled while they smoke the cigarettes they’ve tried to quit more times than years they’ve been alive as they sit in the middle of their sixth straight hour of watching shitty sitcoms and fake ass reality shows.

But maybe I’m being too harsh. I’m forgetting that most of these parental critics spend their spare time as actors on Broadway, volunteering aid in Africa, assisting local political campaigns, and fostering multiple children at a time. I hope you shallow fucks all burn in your irony and self-admiration.

Update (11/13/07):

Here's an article from a mother promoting video games. Doesn't happen too often: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-crittenden/why-your-kids-should-play_b_32365.html

She says the more her son plays "Call of Duty," the more he wants to learn about WWII. So now you all know how I got to be so fucking brilliant.
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