April 20, 2008

"Hell is other people."

Stop using religion as a crutch. In fact, stop talking about it completely. At least around me. You're not going to convert me. You've failed. Give up. Heaven does not have lakes full of crystals, or whatever the fuck you said. There's no ivory/pearl gates and no streets of gold. If heaven does exist, it's not a physical place, you fucking dipshit. And hell doesn't have the heat way up all of the time. Satan does not pay gas bills. The next time some hypocritical, holier-than-thou-art bullshit spews from your mouth, I'm going to shove it back down your throat with my fist. Drinking, cussing, and enjoying violent movies are not sins. But using God's name in vain, wanting to cheat on your fiancé, and lying all are. And not having remorse for those ensures you have a seat in hell, motherfucker. You are not hot shit. You are not an actor. You do not have friends. You will not amount to anything. You are fucking retarded.

Stop using everyone around you. You want to make yourself happy and get on your feet? Do it yourself. Better yet, stop saying you're going to do something and just fucking do it. Enjoy the moment, and stop the excessive bitching. You had a rough day? Boohoo. I don't give a fuck. I'm tired of pretending to. The truth is you're talking to a wall. You don't want/need my advice. And I don't want to hear your story. So go find a tree to talk to. Isn't it about time for you to grow up? You say you're confused, unsure, and trying to find your way. But actually you're just lazy and let others do the work for you. Stop fucking people over.

Stop pushing people around you away. Alienating your family and wondering why they no longer come around is a little puzzle you've made that doesn't have any pieces. You're fucked in the head. Everyone sees it. Stop blaming medicine, stress, and money. You still have your memory. You just play it off like you don't, and choose to remember what you want. You are not Sammy Jankis. You are not Mother Teresa. You're just slipping into senility. By choice.

Just stop. Stop all of it. I am not like you motherfuckers. I never will be. Just leave it alone. I am not your knight in shining armor. I am not your savior or your golden child. I don't care if you're proud or disappointed. I don't care about how your day went, the bills you need to pay, your (bullshit) plans for the future, how you feel about love this week, which ugly bitch you'd fuck if you weren't getting married, or what God would think about all of this. I don't give a fuck. I don't say much when you talk to me, not because I'm listening, but because I'm trying to figure out a way to murder you and get away with it. So stop talking and fuck off. All three of you are full of shit and I see right through it.

"Hell is other people." -Jean-Paul Sartre (No Exit)

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