I don't really have the will or patience (or maybe creativity) to write anything funny about this. I'll just post the funny parts and let you laugh at that instead:
A Catholic priest in South Carolina has decided that the democratic act of casting a vote is, in some cases, a mortal sin. Therefore, he has decided that parishioners who voted for Barack Obama are not entitled to the grace of Jesus Christ through communion until they've done penance.
"Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."
I knew this shit wouldn't stop after the elections were over.