Here's my braless support.

This is not the "single, greatest, and most influential moment of my life." Sorry. Most people seem to have some kind of neurological condition that forces them to believe that any and every event that occurs in their lifetime is something spectacular compared to the last five billion years of Earth's history, and that these events will be remembered for years and years.

If an average American was assigned the task of writing a history book, chronologically describing America's past based upon their own knowledge, there would be very little in the book other than the happenings within their own lives. And that's why people think that anything notable that happens in their short, miserable lives eclipses every other event in history: they're too ignorant and apathetic to research and learn on their own. But, they do get to vote. Makes sense to me.

Happy Election Day, or whatever. I voted this year too. Well, I voted by not voting. See, I think Bush needs another four years. It's not that he deserves it or anything. He was just really onto something: peace through annihilation. He's such a horribly underrated man of our time. He just forgot a few hundred other countries. But he does still have a few months left in his term. Let's hope he doesn't get lazy in the home-stretch. This is no time to start slacking off. Let the bombs fall and don't forget to save a few for us.

Update: Obama won. I'll give it to him. He did a hell of a job. But guess how much Indiana helped him out? Here, I'll circle the state on the map in case you idiots don't remember where we're located: