Not a single shred of faith left in man.

"The federal government has spent nearly half a million dollars to fund a study to find out why some men would prefer not to wear condoms during sex. The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, a branch of the National Institutes of Health, has awarded a $423,500 grant to researchers at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction."

"The Bloomington, Indiana, based research team will use the funding to study 'barriers to correct condom use,' according to a release from the institute. 'This project aims to advance our understanding of, among other factors, the role of cognitive and affective processes and condom application skills in explaining problems with condom use in young, heterosexual adult men,' reads an excerpt of the study, which will be funded through May 2011."

Darwin was a dumbass. We're still stupid, fucking monkeys that aren't fit for survival.

The Pope pulls out, apparently.

"The Vatican on Wednesday defended Pope Benedict XVI's opposition to the use of condoms to stop the spread of AIDS as activists, doctors and governments criticized it as unrealistic, unscientific and dangerous.

Benedict, arriving in Africa, said Tuesday that condoms 'increase the problem' of AIDS. The comment, made to reporters aboard his plane, caused a worldwide storm of criticism."

That's right. You heard it here, folks. The Pope says don't use condoms. Fine by me. I never much liked rubber gloves, spandex, or one-size-fits-all, and I like condoms even less. And now my antipathy is sanctioned by God himself. Thank God.

"Kevin De Cock, director of the H.I.V./AIDS program at the World Health Organization, said there was no scientific evidence showing that condom use spurs people to take more sexual risks."

Yes, the director of the AIDS program at WHO's last name is Cock. I couldn't make this up if I tried. But the most interesting thing the condom hat-wearing Pope had to say was:

"He also expressed concern about the impact of modernity and secularization on the traditional African family, telling the bishops to promote the understanding that marriage is indissoluble."

'Indissoluble' being the key word here. In America, 33% of all marriages end in divorce, and 50% of all second, third, fourth, etc. marriages end in divorce. It seems that the Pope is off his fucking meds. But I'll start pulling out instead.

Know what country and pop don't have?

Badass fans who do this to see legends:

"Over 100 Iron Maiden fans were arrested before the band's show at Bogota's Simon Bolivar Park in Colombia on Saturday (March 7) as a riot broke out outside the venue.

Ticket-less fans gatecrashed the 25,000-capacity show, with riot police attempting to quell the chaos as rocks were thrown and tear gas was used by authorities, reports BBC News.

Of the 111 fans arrested, 40 remain in custody. One police officer, Rolado Arturo Girata Mora, required reconstructive surgery after being injured in the fracas.

Police said that the riot was caused by 'embarrassing acts perpetrated by a group of malcontents who wanted to enter without tickets'.

Local authorities are set to debate whether heavy metal acts should be allowed to take place in Bogota in the future.

Iron Maiden managed to perform the show when stage time came around, and did not comment on the riot."

Normally, I'd think it was a bit too much, but I've seen Iron Maiden, and frankly, I forgot about the fact that Ozzy was supposed to come on after, but couldn't. Not only does this show dedication to see a legendary band, it's just simply amazing that over 100 fans without tickets all decided to band together and break in. That also shows teamwork. And people call today's youth lazy...

Update on the ever-accelerating growth of Bono's head.

"U2 have had a street in New York City named in their honour, to celebrate the release of their brand new album. In a ceremony today (March 3), 53rd Street in Manhattan was temporarily renamed U2 Way by Mayor Michael Bloomberg. The street will be called U2 Way for a week."

Today's forecast: Bono's ego and self-admiration is at an all-time high. No need to bundle up, because he's blowing out a lot of hot air. And there's a good chance that shit will start falling from the sky. That's God. He hates U2, like me. Because we're both smart. Except that story doesn't work, because Bono is apparently God.

"'We're here somewhere between 10th Avenue and funky, funky Broadway, somewhere south of Duke Ellington Way and north of Joey Ramone Place we find ourselves...where the streets have no name,' he said, according to Reuters."

U2 Way is the last stop the bus makes on its tour through the nine circles of Hell. Where Bono is king. God, I fucking hate Bono.


*Extra tidbit: I've always said his name as Bone-o. No real reason, other than the fact that that's technically how it should be pronounced, considering there is a vowel following the consonant after the first 'o' which would make it a long 'o' sound. Wouldn't it? I love proving you dicks wrong.

This little book is long overdue.

"'Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark' will open on Broadway on February 18, 2010 with music and lyrics written by U2's Bono and The Edge. The show is inspired by more than 40 years of Marvel Spider-Man comic books, but spins a new take on the tale of Peter Parker, who finds himself endowed with astonishing powers after he is bitten by a genetically altered spider.'

Yes, you read that correctly. Bono is going to write music for a Spider-Man Broadway musical. If the earth opened up and Hell arose from beneath the stage, I wouldn't even be the least bit surprised. To tell the truth, I'd actually be relieved.

"Bono and The Edge, one half of U2, will make their Broadway debut by creating new music and lyrics for the 'Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark.' Casting for the show is yet to be announced."

"Bono and The Edge, one half of U2," as if U2 was some kind of fucking superhero team, actually believe they're still cool and hip enough to make music people enjoy. Actually, I think Bono believes he's a superhero, with all of the 'humanitarian' work he does. The fuck was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, and even knighted by Queen Elizabeth II. As Slu would say, "What a dick."

His music is terrible (even the old shit), his ego is off the scale, and there's nothing creepier than an old man trying to be cool in front of a bunch of kids by attempting to dress and act like them. At the start of his career he made himself out to be a Bob Dylan or Willie Nelson with his vague and generalized 'protest' lyrics and attempt at singing.

As the years progressed, and record sales declined, the hack decided to be an artist in marketing, you could say. He sold-out quicker than light beer and nachos at NASCAR. Need proof? Here's an I-Pod commercial from 2004. I remember this one well, and decided to look it up for this. Despite everyone else being silhouetted, which is the way they had always done these commercials until this one, Bono is seen quite clearly.

Show me someone who still listens to U2 and I'll show you someone who's over the hill and can't escape the past. If there was ever a reason for me to be ashamed of being Irish, Bono would be it. There are no known words to me to express my hatred for this piece of shit. And there is no known crime that I wish would befall him. I hope there is a Hell, solely for the purpose of Bono burning in it for all eternity.

Can't place it, but it sounds so familiar.

"Gamers beware: Keeping too tight a grip on the console and furiously pushing the buttons can cause a newly identified skin disorder marked by painful lumps on the palms, Swiss scientists said on Tuesday.

Called 'PlayStation palmar hidradentitis' by the scientists, the skin disorder can cause painful lesions on the palms similar to patches found on the soles of children's feet after taking part in heavy physical activity, they said."

Yeah, they're called fucking calluses. Is America really so spoiled and lazy that we've forgotten what they are, and have actually come up with new names for them? I don't know a lot of Latin, but I can read that. It basically translates to 'Playstation hard palm' which sounds like a new badass account name...

I hate you stupid people.

Tonight I single out Billy Corgan.

"In an interview with the Chicago Tribune, Billy Corgan expressed his interest in becoming a band that only releases singles from now on. Talking about 'Zeitgeist', he says, 'We're done with that. There is no point. People don't even listen to it all. They put it on their iPod, they drag over the two singles, and skip over the rest.' He adds, 'Our primary function now is to be a singles band that drives Pumpkins Inc through singles. We'll still be creative, but in a different form.'"

Shit. What the hell is happening to music? Am I the only one noticing? It's almost as if this idea of digital music instead of hard copies is completely confusing musicians, and the only way that they can contend with the future is to go pop. More and more, I think Tyler is onto something here. So I'll quote one of his (and now my) favorite bands, Enter Shikari: "Look what you've done to yourself. Yeah, you've lost the will to do what's right again."

I, for one, actually enjoyed 'Zeitgeist' very much. So I'm not stuck in the past, too much. But I can't deny the Pumpkins were in their glory days during 'Mellon Collie' and 'Adore'. Corgan seemed to have more inspiration then, before Zwan and before his solo effort (both of which weren't too bad really). But it was also before he completely pissed off two of the other three band members. The Smashing Pumpkins died May 2000. Since then it's just been Billy Corgan Inc. And though I respect him as an artist, his ego could cover the world over (which normally I'd respect, except when you drive away a hot bassist like D'arcy).


Hey, Corgan: "Go tell all your friends that this is the end."

Why I hate the 80's.

I hate the 80's because not all of its pop icons are dead yet. Remember back when I wrote about washed-up, 80's soft-core rock dick Axl Rose preparing to finally release his 'long-awaited' CD, 'Chinese Democracy,' which makes no sense at all? Yeah, I almost forgot about that special event too. I almost forgot about disgusting Dr. Pepper's bet too:

"In March the manufacturer made headlines by saying it would give out cans of its 123-year-old soft drink if the album, “Chinese Democracy,” came out by the end of the year. That was by no means a sure proposition, since Mr. Rose had failed to meet so many deadlines over the years that the album had become the music industry’s most notorious (and expensive) shaggy-dog story."

Yeah, a few weeks ago I downloaded it and after two songs, I deleted the entire CD off my computer. But now I just read that "it took Axl Rose 14 years to complete the latest Guns N’ Roses album. But it took his lawyers only two days to take Dr Pepper to task for not making good on a promise of free soda to “everyone in America” in celebration. On Sunday the album was finally released, and Dr Pepper gave fans 24 hours to go to its Web site for a coupon redeemable for a can of soda; so many did that the site crashed, and the deadline was extended to Monday.

On Tuesday his lawyers sent a harshly worded letter to the soft drink maker complaining of its “appalling failure to make good on a promise it made to the American public,” and demanding a public apology, more time for thirsty fans, and payment for piggybacking on the “Chinese Democracy” publicity."

What in the crap? I guess some thousands of people actually wanted (free) Dr. Pepper. I'll be damned. Or maybe Dr. Pepper's bandwidth sucks. You choose. But you gotta love that dick's ego. When is he gonna realize that he had no talent 20 years ago, and his only real fans were 15 year old girls who wanted to fuck him?

Even if you ignore his shitty attempt at singing, he looks (and looked) like he just came off a 3 week binge of vodka, Big Macs, meth, and sloppy sex with hookers (who might not even all be female). If Lynyrd Skynyrd is king of white trash, and Kid Rock is prince, Axl is the court jester. But it's just our luck he's not the mime. Fuck Axl. Fuck GNR. And fuck Dr. Pepper. Oh, and if you bought 'Chinese Democracy,' fuck you too.

(I’m so glad my high school and Ivy Tech art classes paid off. Actually, I just realized I'm terrible at drawing dicks. That's a good thing.)

In a completely unrelated note, I'm going to post this:

LIGHTS - Drive My Soul (official music video)

$10 to the first person who names what movie this is inspired by. And be honest, no cheating. Don't go look it up, you prick.

Funniest fucking thing I've ever heard.

"An Indiana State Police trooper is being credited with saving a Lafayette donut shop, after noticing it on fire early this morning as he was passing. The trooper busted a glass door and put out the flames with a fire extinguisher.

According to a release from Indiana State Police, Trooper Ryan Winters had just finished inspecting a semi at the Knight's Inn on Indiana 26 around 1:49 a.m., when he noticed flames at the nearby Krispy Kreme donut shop at 4030 State Road 26 East as he was driving away.
Winters notified dispatchers, then busted out the front glass door to see if anyone was inside. The business was closed and nobody was inside.

According to the release, Winters grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the fire that had started in the kitchen area."

Everyone who despises cop/donut jokes just choked on these words harder than a dick. The best part is that this was probably the most work he did all week long. He's not even a firefighter or anything. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you have your priorities straight and a real motive to act, isn't it? Motherfucker.

Fuck penance.

I don't really have the will or patience (or maybe creativity) to write anything funny about this. I'll just post the funny parts and let you laugh at that instead:

A Catholic priest in South Carolina has decided that the democratic act of casting a vote is, in some cases, a mortal sin. Therefore, he has decided that parishioners who voted for Barack Obama are not entitled to the grace of Jesus Christ through communion until they've done penance.

"Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."

I knew this shit wouldn't stop after the elections were over.

23 flavors that all resemble shit.

The 'vice president of marketing' for a soda company made a bet with a band that was popular twenties years ago that they'd never release the album that's been seventeen years in-the-making. Unfortunately, Dr. Pepper lost to Guns N' Roses, and now on November 23, every man, woman, and child can get a coupon for a free can of the shittiest cola in existence.

And while you're at it, pick up the shitty CD (Chinese Democracy), too. And yes, I've heard it. I downloaded it, listened to two songs, deleted it, and then took a shower. Wallowing in that shit for ten minutes made me feel sad and dirty. But then I felt like Axl: all washed-up.

"Coupons will be available for 24 hours, starting at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time on Nov. 23, 2008. Allow 4-6 weeks for coupon to arrive. Coupons will expire on Feb. 28, 2009. Limit one coupon per person." 4-6 weeks and a limit to one per person based on the fact that there's not currently enough Dr. Pepper in the world to cater to the 300 or 400 people who will actually redeem their coupons.

"So get out your straws and chill those glasses, kids — the Dr will be in your fridge soon, all thanks to Mr. Axl Rose."

I guess this is all = bad taste x 2. Does anyone remember when Axl Rose wasn't a coke/meth/fuck/dick-head? Yeah, me neither.

A version of past events.

Yesterday, North Korea was taken off of the 'terrorist blacklist' after the North agreed to a series of steps in disarming its nuclear capabilities. "North Korea's Foreign Ministry said it will again allow inspections by the United States and International Atomic Energy Agency at its Yongbyon nuclear complex to verify the disablement process, pledged under a disarmament-for-aid deal with Washington and four other regional powers."

But in the 70s and 80s, eight Japanese were kidnapped by North Korean agents. So, naturally, Japan considers "that the U.S. decision was 'extremely regrettable.' He (Japanese Finance Minister Nakagawa) said that 'abductions amount to terrorist acts.'"

That's funny, because in 1876, Japan forced Korea into foreign trade with the Treaty of Ganghwa. Then in 1895, the Japanese assassinated Korean Empress Myeongseong. By 1910, Korea was militarily occupied by Japan and forced to sign the Japan-Korea Annexation Treaty. In 1919, over 7,000 Korean demonstrators were killed by Japanese police and soldiers. Beginning in 1939, over five million Koreans were forced into labor, and tens of thousands of men were forced into Japanese military. Korean language was suppressed, as well as its culture and artifacts. In 1993, Japanese Chief Cabinet Secretary Kono even acknowledged and apologized for Japan taking female Koreans as "comfort women" during this time.

During World War II, when Japan occupied Korea, the United States fought through South Korea and pushed the Japanese soldiers (and Koreans that were forced to fight) all the way to the border of China. This was done by Macarthur against President Truman's orders. The Chinese, fearing an invasion by the US, helped the Koreans and pushed back the US to the center of Korea, thus the creation of North and South Korea. The US installed a puppet government in the South (a supposed 'democratic-republic') and Russia installed their own government in the North (communist). The Cold War came into effect in the 50s and 60s, and the decades that went by created more and more of a rift between the two Koreas. It all puts a whole new perspective on our view of North Korea, doesn't it? Or Japan? Or us? I love how each country has its own version of history.

Also, "in August, North Korea backed out of negotiations with Japan aimed at resolving the abductee issue. If the issue is resolved to Japan's satisfaction, the government has said it would give North Korea as much as $10 billion in reparations for colonial occupation between 1910 and 1945." So, unless the North resolves the issue of eight Japanese, the millions of Koreans that died will never be apologized for, apparently. What a beautiful world.

It's time to vote.

In recent news, this “shocking” picture of Jessica Alba in bondage has surfaced from declareyourself.com:



“The new mum posed with her mouth strapped up in bondage-style tape for the campaign, which was shot by celebrity photographer Mark Liddel.”

But, “Jessica wasn’t the only celeb to take part in the shoot – Christina Aguilera also took the opportunity to make a visual statement, by being shot with her mouth seemingly stitched up.”


Even Andre 3000 and La Toya Jackson are pictured with a bowtie in mouth and a spike through both lips, respectively.

I think I know what message they're trying to convey here. I think this presents a truth I wasn’t ready to believe, that we, as a nation, are ready for. I believe now is the time to stand up and make your voice heard. Stand with me and vote to silence celebrities. Go to declareyourself.com and support the squelching of Hollywood.

Let me report the news tonight.

Evil knows no bounds.

Apparently in Sugar Hill, New Hampshire an old woman, who probably shouldn’t have been driving in the first place, wrecked her car, setting the hag’s vehicle on fire. As if this wasn’t enough, two men violently pulled her frightened body out and attempted to car-jack the old broad with a razorblade. Luckily the car exploded in a great pyre before they were able to take it to use for their drug trafficking or armed robbery or whatever they were planning to do with it. At least, that’s what I got from it when I skimmed through it. I didn’t actually read it, but the title said it all. See for yourself:

http://www.wmur.com/family/17425534/detail.html#-

Ugly baby gets a new home.

In North Bay Village, Florida a “horrid” baby was found in the bushes. Apparently the ugly wretch was justifiably hideous enough for the mother to give her spawn away to the shrubs. The police officers and child service representatives were so appalled by its features that they left it in the bushes and thanked the mother for her effort. The full story’s found here:

http://www.local10.com/news/17429991/detail.html

I’ve never seen anyone move that fast.

In Milwaukee firefighter Lt. Ron Firnrohr (or Fenrir for short) dodged multiple bullets on a routine call for a fender-bender. “This shit ain’t nothing new, “ admitted Fenrir, “comes with the job.” Statistics prove that most fender-benders in Milwaukee end in epic gunfights and firefighters have become so accustomed to dodging them that “when the time comes, they won’t have to.” See for yourself:

http://www.wisn.com/cnn-news/17424850/detail.html

Defeat is something hard to admit.

In New York Melody Gardot has given up on trying to walk, blaming an accident she had when she was 19. Instead of reaching for the stars, which are a few feet farther away from her now, she has decided Plan B ain’t so bad. Using the notoriety of her less-able-ness, Melody (makes sense) figures a singing career is pretty safe, especially considering the gimmick of always wearing sunglasses and that most accidents don’t destroy your voice. Legs can really only take you so far. But a good song lasts 3 or 4 minutes. The quitter’s tale is told here:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/04/melody.gardot/index.html

Well, that’s all I skimmed through tonight. The world sure is fucked up.

College presidents vs. the government and MADD.

I have to say, this is one of the most surprising articles in news that I've read in quite some time:

"In a bold challenge to the decades-old status quo, 129 college presidents have signed a statement calling on elected officials 'to support an informed and dispassionate public debate over the effects of the 21-year-old drinking age.'"

"John McCardell, president emeritus of Middlebury College in Vermont, organized the initiative. Eight presidents helped draft the statement this summer, and the group then invited presidents of all four-year colleges and universities to sign on. He says he'd like to see alternatives considered, such as a license to allow drinking by 18-year-olds who have graduated from high school and have obeyed alcohol laws."

"McCardell acknowledges he can't point to as many studies as MADD does. But the role of a debate is to scrutinize information, he says: 'Anytime somebody tells you that science is entirely on one side of a question, that ought to send up a red flag.' While 15- and 16-year-olds in many European countries with a drinking age of 18 or younger drink more often than their US peers, they have fewer dangerous occasions of intoxication."

I can't say much more than what's in the article already, but I do know that statistics are useless:

"With an average of 4.7 million viewers, the premiere of the second season of 'The Hills' was the most watched program across all of TV for viewers aged 12 to 34 and the highest rated cable telecast of 2008."

People are stupid, and stupid people configure stupid statistics.

Start filling jugs of water, dipshits.

"The town of Losantville is without fire protection after the West Union volunteer fire chief and most of the town's firefighters resigned Monday night. Chief David Fisher walked out of a town board meeting, upset that the board expected him to request in writing five days before the monthly meeting any issue that he wanted to discuss. After the meeting, most of the other volunteer firefighters also turned in their radio equipment to the fire station."

Props to these badasses. Firefighters don't ever get the respect that they deserve. People always talk about cops putting their lives on the line, and firefighters rarely get mentioned. Fuck that. I, for one, find this story fucking hilarious. Firemen are always there to help. There's no crooked firefighters, like cops. So fuck Losantville. You bastards can put your own fires out now. Tough shit.

Beef for dinner, everyday.

For those not in-the-know, it was recently announced that the FDA “has ruled that it’s safe for meat and dairy manufacturers to use such (cloned) animals as sources for food products. Consumers are wary of the idea of cloned food. But advocacy groups opposed to the use of cloned-source food haven’t come up with a strong reason to stop it. To make sure there isn’t one, any company using cloned animals should label clearly—and monitor what happens as its products go out into the world. Responsible drug companies, toy companies, all sorts of manufacturers do this.”

I don’t know. Comparing a package of cloned hamburger to a Spongebob action figure probably isn’t the best fucking example. Does anyone else think this is one of the most bizarre ideas American fuckheads have come up with in a long time? Sure, this steak is the same as that one, but that doesn’t mean it’s not completely weird. But does that mean we’ll have one fatass cow living in a laboratory that we can just clone over and over? And does that mean we’ll have a shitload more meat to go around, leading to $2.00 t-bones? Fucking doubt it.

“There’s no evidence that cloned food should be prohibited. After all, humans have been eating genetically altered organisms for 10,000 years plus. Wheat, for example, was once a wild grass, cloned and cultivated over hundreds of human generations. Livestock breeding is just low-tech genetic modification. Cows are designer meat and milk factories.”

Good point. We’ve cloned plants, now we’re cloning animals. What else should we be cloning? Can’t have children? Here, we’ll clone mine. Dog got hit by a car? Bring him back. This is so fucking stupid. So, theoretically, if I was a cannibal, could I clone myself and then eat me? Gives new meaning to ‘go fuck yourself.’ I’m personally against cloning because I don’t think we need to be cloning any Americans, since most have shit for brains. Then again, I guess Tyler will never run out of milk again.


"There are more fools in the world than there are people." -Heinrich Heine

A grab bag full of bullshit.

In Washington: The Bush administration has apparently changed policy and cleared the way for the Justice Department to restart an investigation into the government's no-warrant electronic surveillance program, a department official told Congress on Tuesday. Hinchey and other Democrats have been asking for a probe into the legality of the domestic spying program. It involves using the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on international phone calls and e-mails from people inside the United States with suspected ties to terrorists.

Why the hell does any of this matter? Didn’t they change the law on this back in August (‘Bush Throws Another Donkey Punch’)?

By changing the legal definition of what is considered ‘electronic surveillance,’ the new law allows the government to eavesdrop on those conversations without warrants.

Yes, they did. But I see what this really is then. This is to make the administration look more ‘legit.’ Well, after the investigation ‘discovers’ that they never broke the law or some shit. Very creative, Orwellian even. Beneath the Bush, there’s a dirty pussy.


In San Fernando: A nearly indestructible pit bull menaced a pumpkin patch, claiming the lives of an innocent cat and rabbit, before police overpowered it with brute force, authorities said today. An officer arrived and tried to ensnare the pit bull with a leash, but it knocked her over and bolted down Celis Street. "It became evident that the Animal Control officer was unable to recover from her fall and that the officers were forced to take immediate action," the police report read. The officers elected to ram the dog, running over it three times before it gave up.

Yes, you read that correctly. The cops said that stubborn dog refused to give up twice before finally surrendering after the third passing of two tons of metal. But I bet if you asked the dog, he gave up after the first. Or he’s a fucking robot.


In New York: A young man carrying what turned out to be a hairbrush died Monday night in a hail of bullets fired by New York police. The teen put an object under his shirt and told his mother around the time she phoned 9-1-1 that he was going to say he had a gun. Twenty shots were fired; Coppin was struck eight times. Kelly said the teen's mother reported he had not taken his anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medication.

The shooting came a year after unarmed groom Sean Bell, 23, was killed hours before his wedding in a shooting involving New York police. In 1999, unarmed African immigrant Amadou Diallo, 22, died when police in the Bronx shot him 19 times (the latter being the subject of the song “Contempt Breeds Contamination” by Trivium, in which police fired 41 shots total). Bystander Dyshawn Gibson described Monday's shooting to CNN affiliate WABC-TV. "He dropped the brush," Gibson said. "He put his hands up. Police just started firing."

Not much needs said here. Cops shot a man who never showed them his ‘weapon’ or fired one round, even if the bystander is full of it. Apparently it happens a lot with the NYPD. “This isn't justice, this is corruption.”


In Grinnell, Iowa: The college student who was told what question to ask at one of New York Sen. Hillary Clinton's campaign events said "voters have the right to know what happened" and she wasn't the only one who was planted. She said a senior Clinton staffer asked if she'd like to ask the senator a question after an energy speech the Democratic presidential hopeful gave. "I said 'Yeah, can I ask how her energy plan compares to the other candidates' energy plans?'" Gallo-Chasanoff said Monday night.

According to Gallo-Chasanoff, the staffer said, 'I don't think that's a good idea, because I don't know how familiar she is with their plans.' He then opened a binder to a page that, according to Gallo-Chasanoff, had about eight questions on it. "The top one was planned specifically for a college student," she added. "It said 'college student' in brackets and then the question."

Topping that sheet of paper was the following: "As a young person, I'm worried about the long-term effects of global warming. How does your plan combat climate change?" While she acknowledged "it's possible that all campaigns do these kind of tactics," she said that doesn't make it right.

They say kids don’t care? There’s why. That’s Maple Nut Crunch you’re smelling after waking up in front of Laurence Fishburne. Don’t get mad. Do what I plan to do in the ’08 elections: absolutely nothing.

Former presidential adviser David Gergen said the front-runner's campaign could take a hit from the incident. "When a campaign plants a question, it's a pretty minor infraction of the rules -- like a parking ticket," Gergen said. "The problem here is it feeds a damaging perception of Hillary Clinton that she can't quite be trusted.”

Actually, how about this instead? If you lie to the public about your integrity and honesty, it’s not quite like getting a parking ticket. It’s like having DUI’s and becoming a driver’s ed teacher. Get bent.

These lazy bastards we call kids.

This is from PeoplePC news: Jesse Lackman says his son spends a dozen hours a week waging medieval combat across the dreary dreamscapes of computer games. Just don't expect to find Lackman sitting beside him battling ogres and dragons. “It's just such a waste of time," said Lackman, 47, a power plant operator from Center, N.D. "I tell him, 'Do something that has some lasting value.'"

I couldn’t have said it better. Well, unless I tried to. But Mr. Lackman has a point. His son could be doing so many other, more productive things, such as: watching television, reading the shitty local newspaper, avoid spending time with his family by working 60+ hours a week at a power plant, or even complain to interviewers about how pathetic kids are today. Lead by example, I guess. But Mr. Lackman’s son can’t be the only kid in America to play numerous hours of video games:

"I don't think it's good for them, the violence, the obsession," said Karen Kimball, 55, of Hale, Minn., another nonplayer who estimates her 17-year-old son plays 25 hours weekly. "No longer is it, 'Let's go out and throw a football.'"

That’s a very good point. Stop playing violent video games, and play a relaxing sport like football. Kids are just so fucked up today. They don’t respect their elders or authority, they don’t care about politics or religion, they don’t plan for their future or understand the concept of money, and they’re too lazy to leave the house. Wait a minute? Was I talking about kids or adults? Damn…

I guess it’s my turn to bitch. Know what I’m tired of? I’m tired of post-baby boomer, free love hippies who rebelled more than any fucking generation in history, who’ve never fought in any wars, who did more drugs than mankind as a whole, caused the divorce rate in this country to triple within the last thirty years, started a gluttony epidemic with obesity, and without having ever attained a college degree, proceed to lecture children on their mistakes and being apathetic and spoiled while they smoke the cigarettes they’ve tried to quit more times than years they’ve been alive as they sit in the middle of their sixth straight hour of watching shitty sitcoms and fake ass reality shows.

But maybe I’m being too harsh. I’m forgetting that most of these parental critics spend their spare time as actors on Broadway, volunteering aid in Africa, assisting local political campaigns, and fostering multiple children at a time. I hope you shallow fucks all burn in your irony and self-admiration.

Update (11/13/07):

Here's an article from a mother promoting video games. Doesn't happen too often: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-crittenden/why-your-kids-should-play_b_32365.html

She says the more her son plays "Call of Duty," the more he wants to learn about WWII. So now you all know how I got to be so fucking brilliant.

From sucking cock to saving it.

I’ve never really given a fuck about the overrated actors and musicians that feel the need to inform us what they believe about religion, politics, abortion, economics, premarital sex, or whatever other bullshit issues this stupid nation concerns itself with. I figure, these assholes can’t be any smarter than the average American, and I hear that shit from those people everyday. With cunts like Fall Out Boy, Good Charlotte, Pink, and The Black Eyed Peas siding with PETA and “speaking out” against eating meat, which isn’t exactly a new concept, I’m afraid I have to draw the line when a fucking porn star, the “Queen of Sex," tells me not to eat fried chicken. Apparently Jenna Jameson has joined forces with some pretty incredible people:

“Please join Pamela Anderson, Sir Paul McCartney, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The Rev. Al Sharpton, and countless other kind people worldwide by not eating at KFC.”

This is all part of the “Kentucky Fried Cruelty” bullshit propaganda from PETA, much like the “Truth” commercials that lie to you about the lies from the tobacco industry. Maybe what both of these organizations are trying to obtain are just goals, but when you lie and deceive to achieve them, they’re no longer pure goals. They’re just as corrupt as those they’re attempting to destroy.

Now, I knew that Pam Anderson was a spokesperson for these douches, and had a video you could watch on their site. But I really wonder if anyone has actually seen it, considering the difference with this one from her last video was that she is now talking about cock instead of deep-throating it. Actually, if they wanted people to watch it, they should just label it accordingly.

So, not content with just having a slut, these vegans pricks have acquired a real, live prostitute to speak to the youth about the bad decisions they’re making. Nice fucking work. What the fuck are they thinking? Do they really expect people to swallow this? Even Jenna doesn’t (she’s a spitter). Is this who our fucking kids are supposed to look up to and agree with? Jenna Jameson and Pamela Anderson? Jen, just stick to what you know, like tit-fucking, anal beads, and double penetration, you stupid fucking whore. The only meat you need to concern yourself with is about to shoot you in the face, bitch.

So do those stupid fucking animals a favor and eat them. Otherwise they’ll no longer serve a purpose and you’ll make them feel worthless and empty inside. Do the right thing. Go here, use their own weapons against them, and make your own sign: http://signgenerator.kfccruelty.com/ or indulge yourself and attempt a different lifestyle opposing vegetarianism: http://www.i-mockery.com/meatatarian/