2012: Doomsday or huge fucking party?

Surely by now everyone's heard about the new prophecy agenda and their hellfire and brimstone predictions. Apparently these desperate fucks are even using another religion (albeit, a dead one) to foretell of the coming end. The Mayans had their own calendars, for all of you ignorant dung-dwelling monkeys, and the last date that they recorded was December 21^st of 2012 (or 12/21/2012, much more reliable than 06/06/06). Since people got sick of hearing half-assed Revelations prophecies, as if Man would possibly be allowed to know the date, they’ve instead opted to misinterpreting and stealing a completely different culture’s predictions.

First of all, should we really trust the prophecies of a nation that socially collapsed around 1200 AD and was completely conquered by the late 1690’s? They can predict the end of the world but not themselves? It reminds me of the psychic in town that got arrested. I guess the bitch didn’t see that one coming. Second, they’ve cried wolf so many times now that if God himself told us, we still wouldn’t believe it. It’s funny though, that more people were afraid of Y2K and their electricity going off than of the world coming to an end. Just priorities, I guess. But personally, I prefer The X-Files explanation that it will be an alien invasion, either to get me the fuck out of here or to take everyone else away. Or better yet, if the Earth is still here, and there actually is intelligent life that eventually lands here, then what will they think when they find a 2013 Dodge Dakota? It’s gonna fuck them all up.

Regardless, I hope it all does end in 2012. The end of the world is probably the only thing that’s going to shut them up. If they’re so inclined to die, then why don’t they just off themselves and spare us this bullshit? I tell you what though, if it does end December 21^st, 2012, I’ll let them say one last thing before we go: “I told you so.” If not, tough shit. You know what kings in the Dark Ages did to seers that didn’t see shit? They chopped off their fucking heads. I’ll have the axe ready, you jaded, shroom-eating cunts.